Tales of a Serial Dater: Anything’s Missing | HuffPost Chicago

Yesterday I found myself standing lined up at Starbucks and receiving my the necessary Monday day caffeine fix, whenever a very handsome man, with a million dollar laugh, aided me grab my charge card. I got fallen it while buying a tall thin vanilla latte. He had been breathtaking. When his eyes came across mine, I imagined my personal knees were gonna buckle and I also would drop smack dab into the muffin counter. We thanked him and relocated out-of-line to attend for my day obsession with be ready. While I was waiting, he stepped over and launched themselves. Whenever Mr. Million money Smile achieves aside his hand to introduce himself, we notice an attractive couple of cuff-links, my male manner weakness, and an extremely macho group of hands that gave a stronger handshake. Im instantaneously putty when it comes to those macho hands. When my personal coffee purchase was actually known as, he hit over and got it, got on a pen, and composed his quantity privately of my cup. Adorable, i am aware. The guy flashed me personally his beautiful smile one last time, and without saying a word, handed myself my personal coffee-and was presented with.

We wait the essential three days to call him (yeah, you got that right fellas, i could have fun with the game as well). Mr. Million Dollar Smile and I have actually a fantastic conversation which he advised we go see Citizen Cope on House of organization. I’m over thrilled. We came across at Southern liquid Kitchen to seize an easy bite to consume ahead of the tv show and a container of drink. Once the dinner arrived, I became a tad bit tipsy and currently madly crazy. I am in the exact middle of a hysterical story (this would not be surprising to anybody) when I seemed doing see him get a bite regarding their hamburger plus it, you’ll find his teeth – those amazing teeth that offered him that million buck look – caught…in their hamburger.

I attempted never to let my personal shock and horror program, but whoever knows myself knows that my emotions are often written everywhere my personal face. He switched eight tones of red and tried to clarify the way they got knocked out in a fight. Exactly What? My Prince Charming is actually a thug in cuff-links? Seemingly, at one-point in his existence he was teaching for an Ultimate battling Championship along with the most important seven top teeth knocked-out during a fight and today wears false teeth that virtually clip into their throat. Hmmm. Now, I am not sure about you, but nothing states gorgeous in my experience like one who is merely 32 and also fake teeth. We instantaneously have visions of him investing the evening and running to see their teeth resting in a cup of Efferdent Plus on my nightstand. We silently scolded myself if you are thus really shallow and swore to block the sight of him toothless regarding my head, and enjoy the remaining night with a smart, funny and smart guy.

We head to the House of Blues, got some drinks during the club, and forced the way up to the level in which I was front and middle with Citizen Cope. Yum. We’re having an amazing time, Citizen deal was singing Sideways, and Mr. Million Dollar Smile leaned over, got my hand, and pulled me set for a soap opera worthy hug. I instantly had visions of our own breathtaking children, our bungalow style residence in Naperville and just what vehicles we’d drive since I have won’t buy a mini-van, until Im snapped back in truth using realization that there ended up being some thing inside my throat… and it’s really not my gum. We practically vomited throughout the flooring, there in front of Clarence Greenwood (the lead artist of Citizen Cope and a large chick) while I discovered that the thing that was within my mouth had been his teeth. I shit you perhaps not. The second few moments occurred in slow-motion. He looked upwards at me, smiled this toothless smile, and begun to say anything about myself having his teeth, and that I reflexively freaked out and wished those teeth away from my really throat at the earliest opportunity, therefore I spit them out so fast you’d have thought these were poison. Terrible step, Gena. The second twenty minutes had been invested wanting to bing search the floor of this dark room with only all of our mobile phones as mild and trying to not interrupt another concertgoers. Whenever we ultimately found them, they certainly were covered in dirt, soil and a few significant bar grime. I found myself thoroughly disgusted, but not because disgusted as I had been when he…wait for it…then put them back in his mouth – club grime and all sorts of!

Yup, that’s it. I’m away. Temporary clip in teeth I’m able to deal with (with alcohol), but i must draw the line at bad hygiene. Does he kiss their mama with this mouth? Ew. Ew. Ew.

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